Loo La La
Feb 24th, 2014, 11.30 am, Vasant Kunj, Delhi. After flagging off
the first transport leg of the Desert Storm off road rally, I was ready
to get into my car with what I call Media Dhaba (Media Centre, Mobile Media Centre
etc. are passé I think). But behold, there was a flag down. I suffered a brain stroke.
Rushed into nearby Fortis hospital, had
second stroke three hours later am told, while I was still unconscious. Got shifted
finally from emergency room to ICU 6 hours later when my father flew down from
Mumbai to Delhi and signed the requiste papers and paid the admission charges
(Sic).
Three days in ICU and after
some recovery, docs were still unable to find the cause of brain stroke. I was
in already in senses by evening of 24th and responding, though not comprehensible. So, was shifted to the step down ICU, where
I was allowed to walk around in the ward for a while for few moments with
assistance from Nurses, and showed no signs of any muscle failure or paralysis.
So, I could now attend to nature’s
call in the plush western style toilet on my own instead of freeing myself on
the pans in the bed. Meanwhile, I had already noticed a very disturbed elderly lady in the same ICU.
Third day in step down ICU, my
cousin sister visited me. I asked her permission and went to attend Nature’s call by
myself. When out of Loo, saw the old lady in front of me. She asked, “Beta, tumhara ho
gaya”
Feeling confused and embarrassed, I
responded, “Haan Aunti Ji”
She, “Par beta, teen din se daily
aa rahi hoon, yahan na dabba hai na nalka"
Me, “Aunty, gun se paani aata hai,
aur flush bhi kaam kar raha hai”
She totally confused, “Gun?”
I was like ?????
She almost whispering “Aur paani
kahan hai”
I realized her predicament. Showed
her how to use the water gun to clean self and the flush to wash down the dump in western style toilet.
She, “Itna bada hospital, aur ek
lota nahi rakh sakte the nal laga ke”
I held myself, returned to bed, and shared with my
cousin. Both were on floor laughing our hearts out. Oh Loo La La.
Later that evening when
the doc came and saw me laughing, I said “Doc I know what’s Brain Hemorrhage, about
aneurysms, stents and what could be side effects." He was taken aback" I explained, "worked at Manipal Hospital in
Bangalore for three years.",
Further added, "I know that Mukhtar Ansari (Currently contesting Lok Sabha
Election from eastern UP as also supporting Congress in Varanasi), and your
family paid 10Cr ransom when he kidnapped you, and that you shifted to from Patna to Delhi immediately
after he released you.”. (Mukhtar Ansari had kidnapped Zee Chairman Subhash Goyal earlier and was paid same ransom amount for release)
The doc had nowhere to look (No
offence, he was best in entire Bihar, had a reputation there and so got
kidnapped, and is currently on Board of Directors of Fortis Hospitals). I had
another laugh and said, “when will you discharge me”. Well, next day I was back
home from ICU!!!
Though I still have depressing and morose thoughts,
thanks for old lady whose predicament opened me up the laughing Buddha in me
and then the doc’s situation, who let me off from hospital immediately.
As they say, laughter
is indeed the best medicine.
