Crazy Boys At School 2

The teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"

Don raised his hand and said, "Madam, I would like to have gold, because, its lotsa money and is the same colour as my favourite drink. I can buy a supply of a lifetime!"

Rajesh R sneers, "I would want diamonds, because its worth more than gold and diamonds are a woman's best friend." The teacher smiled.

Vince, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold or diamond and I could buy a BPO." The teacher smiled again.

Musten stood up and said, "I would want Silicone."

The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone, Musten?"

"Because my neighbour has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside his neighbourhood!"

~~~~~~~~

As the class was going on, some said OM... and there apeared Yaksha!! The one who asked questions to the pandava's eons ago, and for some 'godly' reasons, had descend on to this crazy boys school!!

Yaksha: Who helps the sun to ascend (rise)? Who moves around it? Who sets the sun? Where is the sun established?

Natty: I know you are talking about Sachin. He fixed everything already. We will fix you too.

Rajesh R: Are we talking about Sunny - Sunil Gavaskar!!

Yaksha: Bad boy Natty and Rajesh.. How does a man become 'Shrotriya' (One who studied the vedas)? How does he attain greatness? Who is man's second companion? How does a man become intelligent?

Musten: Narayana, Naryana, I am shroitriya. I give gyan, people give hits on my home page and attain greatness. My second companion, (looks around to find Tasneem blushing) and the answer is 'understood'). I also ask old-people to just give hits and make no comments.

Yaksha: What is 'divinity' in the brahmins? What is the quality like a virtuous person in him? What is his human-like quality? What is the conduct like a non-virtuous person in him?

Anu: The self-study of the Vedas is the divinity in the brahmin. Penance is the quality like a virtuous person in him. Death is human like. Condeming others is his conduct like a non-virtuous person.
Vince: What about me Sumanth??
Anu: What you, and pinches his arm!!

Yaksha: Keep quite Vince & Anu. What is the divinity in a Kshatriya? What is the quality like a virtuous person in him? What is his human like quality? What is the conduct like a non-virtuous person in him?
Lapsi: The art of shooting PMs or members out of Nukkad is the divinity called Kshatriya like ME. Oblation is the quality like a virtuous person in me, Fearing me is a human like quality of yours.

Yaksha: Stop getting aggressive Lapsi. Now, What is that object which is like a song in the performance of oblations (Yagya)? Who is the performer of religious rites during oblations? What is that object which accepts oblation? What is that which even (Yagya) can not transgress?

Vijay Nair: 'Breath' (Life) is like a song in the performance of oblation (Yagya). 'Mind' is the performer of religious rites during oblations. Only aphorism of the Veda (richa) accepts oblation. It is richa which even oblation can not transgress. And the Laws prrove it!!
Musten: When did richa join this class??

Yaksha: Vijay, keep your lawlessness away and Musten, stop flirting arounf. Next questions - What is the most important thing for a person engaged in agriculture? What is the best thing for a person wanting to 'Sow'? What is best for an honourable prosperous man? What is best for a person having desire of an off spring?

DON: The best culture theses days is agriculture. No Prank this, but am going to practice it straight away, after leaving this school. Rain, Seed and 'Sowing' the cows is the best says wikipedia. A 'Son' is best for a person having desire of an off spring - mean from cow.

Class laughs as DON looks around!!

Yaksha: Who is not alive inspite of being intelligent, honourable among the people, respected by men, who even enjoys the sensual pleasures and breaths?
Anu: Vince!
Vince: *Trying to hide his face*

Yaksha: What is heavier than the earth? What is higher even than the Sky? What is faster even than the wind? What are innumerable than the straws?
Shalaka - Joy it is! Heavier than the earth, cant lift him and its faster than golf balls.

Yaksha : Who keeps his eyes open even during his sleep? Who does not make an effort even after taking birth? Who is devoid of a heart? Who increases by force?

DON: Can we put Sudheendra, the most eligble boy, here!!

Yaksha asked: Who moves around alone? Who has a rebirth after his first birth? What is the medicine for cold? What has the greatest area?
Pallavi Bhatttacharya: I move around alone. I set questions after questions. The medicine for cold is in the 'day of the year' list. Who has the greatest area is my next question!

Yaksha asked: What is the thing which after abandoning a man becomes dear? What is the thing, which after abandoning a man does not become sorrowful? What is the thing after abandoning which a man becomes wealthy? What is the thing after abandoning which a man becomes joyous?
DON: The girl friend.

~~~~~~~~~~

Teacher: OK children, I will give you one half of a proverb and you people have to come up with the rest.

Teacher: People in glass houses shouldn't
Don: Drink Rum.
Teacher gives an angry look...
Don: Sorry mam, it should be "People in glass houses shouldn't run around naked."
Teacher: Your first warning. If you answer again, I will throw you out of the class.
Teacher looks around the class to ensure the message is clear to all.
Teacher: Next proverb - Strike while the
Natty: WHile the ball is rising.
Teacher - This is not a cricket class...
Anshie shouts - I know I know
Teacher: OK, Anshie, tell
Anshie: Strike while the bug is close.
Teacher: What a crazy class, do you people ever study anything? Now, all will get only one chance and you are out! Understood, Next questions - Better to be safe than...
Natty: Punch the 10th grader.
Teacher is fuming. Tells natty to leave the class. Natty, nodding innocently, "This is not fair. I did not speak about cricket. It was boxing this time."
Teacher: Vince, good boy, tell me - It's always darkest before...
Vince: Daylight savings time.
Teacher, being cosiderate: you get one extra chance, becuase this is India and not the US. Complete this, "Where there is smoke, there is...
Vince: Pollution.
Teacher - aaargh, go out a kneel down. These guys are bunch of jokers. I want the girls to answer now. You can't teach an old dog...
Rajesh R: Maths
Teacher, pulling her hair: Girls I said.
Rajesh: Sorry mam
Aarti: I love dogs, can I answer the next one please.
Teacher: Good Aarti, (goes through the book looking for another proverb on dog), Now, complete this, If you lie down with dogs, you...
Aarti: Will stink in the morning.
Aarti becomes the first girl to leave. The girls feel sad.
Yamini: I will answer the next question mam. Can we get Aarti back if I give you the right answer.
Teacher: OK Yamini, else, you join her outside. Now complete "No news is.."
Yamini (jaw drops): Impossible!
Teacher screaming - OOOOUUTTTTT
Yamini: I only meant you will favour the girls and give an easier one...
Teacher: Next one... You can lead a horse to water but
Rajesh R: how?
Teacher: Dont say how, I want an answer Rajesh.
Rajesh (thinking if the answer was wrong, scratches his hairs): Sorry Mam, I forgot
Teacher: OK, another one, Don't change horses
Rajesh Jumps: Until they stop running.

Teacher can't believe this. throw the book to the ground and sits back in her chair. Tasneem and Shalaka bring water. She relaxes a bit, and tells Tasneem to continue the proverb session.

Tasneem: Don't bite the hand that
Musten: looks dirty.
Tasneem looks at teacher. Teacher makes a gesture to continue. Musten is very excited to give the nest answer.
Tasneem: A miss is as good as a
Musten: Mister
Tasneem looks at teacher again. The teacher gestures Musten to leave the class. Tasneem is disappointed.
Tasneem: Can we give him one more chance mam.
Teacher, totally resigned, nods. Musten is happy and does a Hi5 with Tasneem. Teacher gives a disgusting look.
Tasneem: Happy is the bride who
Musten: Gets all the presents.

Teacher gets up: Enough is enough. You rogue, leave the class now and bring in your mother tomorrow.
Teacher snatches the book from Tasneem Next question: OK, whoever left, The pen is mightier than
Tasneem, gives a wide grin and: The pigs... (and runs out of class, kneels down next to Musten and gives another Hi5) Musten grinning: "Our plan worked, now, we can spend some time out of the boring class"

Teacher: An idle mind is
Shalaka: The best way to relax. (and walks out herself)

Teacher: A penny saved is
Rhea: not enough.
Teacher, with Jaw dropped: Rhea, you too!! With this crazy bunch of guys and gals... aaargh... call you mom tomorrow. Hmmm.. make it now...

Teacher looks around the class... Only Don and Anshie left...
Teacher: Don, how come you are still in the class.
Don: You never appreciate my answers. So, am not talking. Am not answering.

Teacher looks at Anshie: OK Anshie complete this, Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..
Anshie: you have to blow your nose.
Teacher: One last chance for you Anshie... Children should be seen and not
Anshie: Spanked or grounded.
Teacher, resigned look, hands barely lifting, gestures Anshie out.
Teacher looks at Don: Better late than...
Don: Am not answering!! Put a finger on his lips.
Teacher: I repeat, Better late than,
Don: OK, Musten told me once about this one - it goes. Better late than get pregnant.

Teacher faints....

~~~~~~~~

Teacher: If you have 12 Chocolates, and you give
5 to Leena
3 to Teena
4 to Meena
then whom much do you get.

VINCE: Not fair, why should all chocolates go to girls
MUSTEN: I get three girl friends
NATTY: Going by the scores on the board, it looks like the entire team is out, but how come even the 12th man got a chance?
RAJESH R: The Girrrls do make an interseting proposition, but its still mathematics dammmit.
DON: If they are rum chocolates, I would keep them all.

~~~~~~~~~

Ahhh.. the teacher is here... and she has posed a question!! Let the kids answers.

Anu: What is a washing machine.

Vince: That thing at home which is used to wash clothes... and undergarments as well. *smiles*
Musten: (trying to remember) What..She...Machine..!!! Yes madame, she is there in my next play. And she grinds so well!
Amit: (jumps) Wow, Singing Machine?? But, am happy with Bansoori, never liked the techno instruments. Danda bahut hai.
Natty: (relaxed) When the stakes are high, Dawood calls Sangeeta, and she orders Ajju to wash the machine. After that, no evidence of match fixing is found.
Rajesh R: (interpreting) Madame, wah's in mach these days are not in. they are out. These days, people talk about mach +
DON: Wah kya machine. Daag achche hain.